Contortion Joke

Gourd-Rats! Gourd-Rats EVERYWHERE! What am I going to do with all these Gourd-Rats? Maybe I should go to sleep before I come up with a battle plan. I’ve been up for three weeks, watching those monstrosities. I mean, look at them! They just SIT there, fat as a...

Dot Dot Dot

Bad luck. What is there to say about it? I’ve heard people say, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all!” Well, no, that cliche doesn’t hold water. If you’ve lived long enough to be capable of saying...

Sonic said there’d be days like this

Just start typin’ is what they said to me, and the words will begin to flow. But they were very, very wrong. The words didn’t come at all. Well, sure, words like ‘vestibule’ and ‘drizzled with a balsamic extract’ made an appearance,...

Moai Heads

Chicken Haiku: I ate some chicken It was mostly pretty good But I ate the bone   Rib Haiku: I found a sad man Passed out in a rib restaurant Ate too many ribs   Clown Haiku: Clowns are not creepy They just want to entertain Their venture for ribs  ...

Vote Vashi

Recipe for Disaster: One part trouble Two parts woe A teaspoon of the unexpected And off you go. Recipe for Happiness: One part sunshine One part rain The seeds of hope Repeat again Recipe for Mac ‘n’ Cheese: One part pasta One part cheese Heat both and...