Just hope he doesn't lose his innocence along the way...

Now that Wario, he’s a big man.

Big, not fat, big.

Well, actually he is fat. Really fat. But, he’s also big.

He has issues you know. Turns into a zombie, gets drunk (at least in Japan he does), turns into a lot of little Warios (I hate when that happens to me).

Anyway, I kinda got off on a tangent. My point is, the guy is a hefty guy, yet he gets around zipity split! You know he’d beat Mario in a foot race pretty much every time.

So, where was I going with this… Oh yeah. Like, he says “Wah hah!” a lot. Not sure why, but the guy is lusty. He live large, yo… So yeah, that’s it, he’s a big man with a bunch of gusto. He loves what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to let everyone know it.

You know you’d have a good time hanging out with Wario. Mario? Not so much I think. He’d be like, “Oh yeah! That pie Princess Peach made back in ’84, that was something. It was Blackberry and Blueberry pie. Wasn’t it ‘wege?”

And Luigi would be like some old granny from the kitchen, “Yeah that’s right Mario, that’s what it was… You guys want some tea?”

I mean really, hang out with W-man, and it’ll be like, “Wah ha ha! Let’s go out to the clubz, get wasted and pick up some chicks, yo!”

Who would you choose to hang out with?

I mean, duh, right?