He's joking, right?

Gourd-Rats! Gourd-Rats EVERYWHERE! What am I going to do with all these Gourd-Rats?

Maybe I should go to sleep before I come up with a battle plan. I’ve been up for three weeks, watching those monstrosities. I mean, look at them! They just SIT there, fat as a gourd! How can I get rid of them? Maybe I should just scoop them up in a bag and put them outside. There’s only 2 of them, anyway, and they’re in a corner. Wait, no, that’s too obvious.

What am I to do? They disgust me! Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten all of those peppermint patties. I crumpled the wrappers up into two balls, and lost track of them. The next day, the GOURD-RATS were sitting where the scrap-balls previously sat! Those two shiny, metallic, crumpled, disgusting rats will NOT go away. I could call an exterminator. Wait, I did. I called a LOT of exterminators. They were all too shocked to get rid of them. At least, I think they were. They told me my situation was “crazy.”

I’m thinking of moving away. Wait, I have to. ¬†Those awful creatures, they just SIT there! They SIT AND SIT! Maybe I should join them. Yes, then I’ll learn their culture, meet their people, and live in their world. Well, I’m off. I shall take the two Gourd-Rats to a remote island with me. Farewell!