Those who live in glass aquariums should not throw stones

So where was I? Oh yeah, I was, like, walking down the street, minding my own business, when, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this, like, little alien guy in a tiny little flying saucer zooms all up in my face, like.

And I’m like, whoa, dude, like what’s goin’ down here? And this little alien guy, like, starts lowering his window, like with a crank, like on one of those 1960’s cars, and he’s like, “Earthling, why in god’s name is your grammar and syntax so weak?”

And I’m, like, whoa, dude, you sayin’ my grammar and syntax is, like, deficient? And he’s like, “Deficient doesn’t even begin to describe how poorly you comport yourself sir. Why, if I wasn’t precluded from doing so by my oath as a galactic traveler, I would vaporize you where you stand at this very moment.”

And I’m, like, “big words from a tiny dude.” And told him, like, if he didn’t like how I talk, he could just go elsewhere or just not listen or whatever. And was like, all in my face, and like telling me that he had heard me speaking from, like, somewhere out beyond Mars or Venus or something, and I was like, whoa, dude, maybe I’d better clean up my act and stuff.

And he was like, yeah, you better, cause I’m not, like’ putting up with it and stuff, except he didn’t use words like ‘like’ and ‘stuff.’

And then he said he’s be like watching me and like more like listening and stuff, and if he heard me talkin’ like than any more, he’d like….

Thump.