There I was, simply minding my own business, when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a wretched urchin of the concrete canyons eyeing my confection.
“Damn,” I thought to myself. That slavering hobbit is coveting my confection.
“Hey Mister,” he said, snot threatening to gob out his nose, and his cracked, filthy teeth mocking any sense of oral hygene. “You gonna finish, that gookie?”
I peered at him with a look of cold disdain.
“Why yes, yes I am.”
How could he have thought otherwise, the little vagabond. Who isn’t going to finish his cookie? And a chocolate chip cookie at that!
Why, my sterling upbringing at the finest schools and academies had trained my mind and palate to truly savor the fine melding of baked wheat and chocolate chip. Could this child of want ever appreciate such a fine flavored baked good?
Of course not!
So I felt no shame or sorrow at his going wanting as I strode down the street, looking regal in my fine garments and gleaming new top hat.
I felt quite full of myself, a titan, the king of the world, walking thusly with a bristling gait.
It was with such relish in my extreme superiority among men that I strode, right up until the moment that I strode in front of an approaching bus and was squashed a flat as a bug.
As I lay dying, I looked up, to see that same wretched child wresting my hat from a nearby hungry goat.
“Hey mister, I saved your hat.”
With shame and sorrow, I saw the light and realized the folly of my ways. Too bad it was too late for me, but at least that darned goat didn’t get the satisfaction eating my chapeau.
“Hey kid,” I said, willing my crushed hand to pull a tuppance from my hip pocket. “Go buy yourself a dozen cookies.”
“Gee, thanks mister!” said the kid.
I smiled as I say his tiny frame shamble off towards the nearest bakery.
“Hey buddy, get up! You’re not that badly hurt.”
I looked down at my body and realized that it was true. I actually wasn’t hurt much at all, except for my pride.
Lesson learned, I went on my way, a wiser, and tuppance poorer man.