Why isn't his neck purple too?

So, what’s the deal with Duke Nukem?

I mean, first of all, what is up with there being a character with the same name as the infamous video game hero on the Captain Planet cartoon show?

Is it the same guy? Was he really able to control himself from spouting profanity at every opportunity on the Captain Planet show? And furthermore, is there anyone who didn’t know they were getting a straight dose of green brainwashing from Captain Planet? I mean, I’m all for preserving the environment, but I shouldn’t have to feel guilty when I’m eating an Octabrain burger because it was fed on¬†genetically¬†modified grains, should I?

But anyway, back to Duke. Duke Nukem. That dude is bad. Both in his badass skills and poor demeanor. He treats women poorly. But then again, he treats everyone poorly.

And what’s up with his vehicles in Duke Nukem Forever? He has to go through hell and high water to get a gas can, then the darned thing only takes about an ounce of fuel? What’s up with that.

And speaking of ‘what’s up with that,’ what’s up with waiting 12 years for the darned game? Now, I know the reviews weren’t unanimously positive, but the truth is, there’s an awful lot of great Dukem content in that baby.

In fact, I think I’m going to fire up the ol’ PS3 and play few rounds on online right now. Then, I’m gonna run for President.