Smart... and Stylishish!

Hey yo.

If you’re like me, you sometimes go to the movies. And, for the most part, movies are pretty understandable.

I mean, they’re meant to be entertaining, right? So of course they’re understandable.

But, there are, of course, movie mysteries. Not the movies themselves, but things about the cinema experience in general.

Like, why the heck are movies also called cinema, or flicks, for that matter.

On that question, I say, who knows? Although, actually, it’s probably that cinema is the French word for ‘movie,’ and movies are sometimes called ‘flicks’ because early film projectors (and films, for that matter aren’t made using film anymore, heh) used shutters and primitive bulbs that caused the image to flicker when it was projected.

But, as I said, I wouldn’t have any way of knowing any of that, so, as I said, “who knows?”

And there are also real severe mysteries, like why a bag of popcorn, a soda and a box of candy costs several hundred dollars at a Movie Theater, but only about three or four dollars outside of one.

No answer to that at all.

But the biggest mystery to me is, why do movie theaters tell you that there are free refills of soda and popcorn when it’s very clear that going to get a refill means that you’re going to miss some of the movie you’ve paid to see.

And you just know that the part you miss will be really critical to understanding the entire plot, and you’ll end up confused, and later, you’ll be lying awake late into the night, eyes red with tears because you just don’t know what happened or why in the movie you just saw.

Well, I know this entry will get dated, but as a public service, I’m going to tell you the bits you may have missed at just the point when most people who have attended recent movies left to get their popcorn and soda refilled.

The Hobbit Part 1 – Bilbo forgets to turn out the lights in Gondorf’s powder room, and when Gondorf gets the bill a month later, it’s really, really high.

Life of Pi – Pi forgets he promised not to eat any of the Tiger’s pie and helps himself to a slice. The Tiger is irked by this for the rest of the movie, and also thinks Pi is a slob because he didn’t use a napkin.

Wreck-it Ralph – Ralph forgets Mr. Do’s birthday, and also gets a high score while playing Sinistar. Felix sprains his fixing hand, and his cousin Fix-it (Psycho) Phil has to fill in for a week (no pun intended).

Rise of the Guardians – Melmo, the sleepy Guardian, wakes from his nap, but no one was home at the time and he fell back asleep, so no one saw this particular Guardian rise.

Skyfall – Bond is chased by a phalanx of killer cyber ducks. Aided only by his trusty Dog, M(utt), he avoids the foes, but is kept from fixing the broken circuit, so that it ends up there’s something wrong with the Skyfall Concert. Also, a Skittles-touch cursed concertgoer accidentally kills M by shaking hands with her.