More grist for my mill

The sign flapped forlornly in the bitter wind.

It read: “Competition Today”

With nothing better to do, Merlicore decided to enter. At least it would be warmer than the bitter chill of a Chicago winter.

As Merlicore pulled open the door, a gust of wind caused by the lakeshore effect nearly pulled it off its hinges.

Damn! Merlicore thought to himself.

Ah! Hello! A strange, little man wearing a bright yellow suit called out to Merlicore.

Are you here for the competition?

Er, well, I guess, said Merlicore.

Great. This way!

Merlicore followed the strange little man down the hallway and into a large auditorium.

Welcome to the Duke Nukem Phrase Off!

The what?

The Duke Nukem Phrase Off!

Yes, that’s right. Merlicore had accidentally joined one of the most secret competitions in the world.

At the Duke Nukem Phrase Off, people competed to spew as many Duke Nukem signature phrases as possible to win valuable prizes.

Wow. This is strange. Merlicore thought.

Yes, said the strange little man in the yellow tuxedo. But even more strange is that this description doesn’t even contain a single Duke Nukem signature phrase.

Hunh. I guess that’s right.

Merlicore never forgot that day. But not because it was really that memorable. He just happened to be run over by a bus later in the afternoon.