I'm very sensitive about my circular-door-butt.

Day 3

Oswald and I stood at the door to the ruins. We had searched for years, and I believe our quest has finally borne fruit! “Are you sure of this, sir?,” Oswald reacted, “It looks highly dangerous!”

“Have I ever been one to worry?,” I snapped back, “We will come out of this alive and wealthy, and that is the end of it!”

Oswald prodded me. “You go first,” he said, “I am still uneasy.”

“Very well.”

I lit my torch and entered through the stone gateway to the temple. Oswald followed, shivering. We trudged down the sacred halls for many hours, Oswald reacting each time a primate gibbered or a bird shrieked. Finally, I spotted a light at the end of the tunnel. It could be the treasure, I thought, or maybe not. Hmmm…..”Oswald!”

“Yes, sir?,” he said in a shivery voice.

“Inspect that possibly treasure-filled room up ahead!,” I commanded him.

Without hesitation, he hesitated. I stood there and reprimanded him with my facial expression. Finally (and slowly,) he went. I saw him reach the end of the hallway. Oswald lifted a large treasure chest. “Look, it’s treasu-aaaagh!”

Suddenly, Oswald began to panic. The treasure chest opened with a pair of gnashing teeth and bit him in the chest. He howled in pain as the chest went for his jugular vein. Oswald, what a brave man. And what a nuisance that I was finally rid of! I grasped a stone on the wall and opened the secret passage to the temple’s next area. The treasure-I can smell it! I will be to the gold very soon. But first, I must rid myself of this rag-tag crew. The treasure must be all mine! MINE!!

A gentleman never uses more than two exclamation marks.