And I say the glass is completely empty... I was thirsty.

I had to happen eventually. It happens to every writer.

I am bone dry. No ideas. Not even one.

A cat who can sing? Honestly? My dog could vomit up something more humorous.

A writer, on the ropes, out of ideas. Oh yeah, that’s this idea. Lame.

How about, a man with a dream arrives in the Big Apple, and through hard work, a little luck, and the love of a plucky high-society gal who rebels against the prejudice of her snobbish parents, becomes the biggest success Broadway has ever seen.

Even my vomiting dog hates that idea.

OK, OK, there has to be something.

Right, right. I got it! A cow is abducted by aliens, but this cow is clever and turns the tables on his otherworldly kidnappers. He takes over their ship, and with the love of a plucky royal alien Princess who rebels against the prejudice of her snobbish parents, the King and Queen, becomes the ruler of the Galactic Empire.

Wow. My dog just ate the vomit he vomited up earlier just so he could vomit it up again. Also, I just got a cease-and-desist order from Chuckin-Phil-Yay for infringing on their intellectual property.

Well. I give up, except, well, wait. I got it for real this time!

A dog with a weak stomach arrives in my home office, and through hard work, a little luck, and the love of a plucky low brow writer who rebels against the prejudice of his cruel and indifferent audience, becomes the biggest meme on the Internet since the previous meme of five minutes ago.

Yeah, yeah Tralfaz, I think we got something here!

OK, let’s get started writing.

“It was a dark and stormy night…”