You folks like coffee?

It’s around here somewhere.

Are you sure?

Yes. No. Er, yes. I’m quite positive.

That’s good, ’cause I think we’re lost.

Oh, were we previously found?


Oh, nothing. Nothing really. It’s just…

Just what?

No. No. Nothing. Nothing at all. It is definitely in the vicinity.

OK then, which was shall we go?

Well, about that. You see, it’s, well, it’s my sense of direction.

Your sense of direction?

Yes. My sense of direction. You see, I was born, shall we say, deficient in the particular area of, er, directional sensitivity.

What? Are you saying you have no sense of direction?

Yes. None. No sense of direction whatsoever.

I see. And yet, you are our tour director.

Well, yes. I am the director of this tour.

And you have no sense of direction.

Directionally challenged. Yes.

And thus, we are lost?

Lost, well. Perhaps.

You know this is like a bad Monty Python routine. Minus the humor.

Yes, well, it was a learned humor for a lot of fellows re: the Pythons, no?

No. Well, yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t even know what you’re saying anymore.

Oh, well. Sorry about that. But, regardless, what’s this you’re saying about us being lost?

Oh lord, we are lost, are we not?

Well, our destination, I suppose, is not what you might call in this location, true. But lost? Hardly.

How can you say hardly?

I can make that claim because I am at least fairly confident that we are somewhere on the Planet Earth, and that is fairly specific from the perspective of a universal scope, not to mention from the view of the solar system.

Sigh. I see. Well, kudos to you then. As for me, I’m off.

You’re heading off? But where will you go?

Oh, this way, or that. It matters not as long as it is in a direction away from wherever you are located.

I see. Well, can’t say I can really blame you.

Yes, well. So I’m off.

OK then. Fare well.

Yes, I shall certainly fare better than I am now, living here on the edge of frustration-induced homicide.

Oh, so you do know where we are after all!

Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

Good, then let’s hop off the tour bus and enter the museum. It’s just across the sidewalk there.

Oh, well, isn’t that something of a surprise.

Yes, that’s what makes life so enjoyable. You never know what might be just around the corner.

Hopefully a large, speeding truck, since I’m just about to go play in traffic.

Oh, well then, have fun, and be safe.

I will be sure to do both. On that you can rely.