Cosmic Pork Bun

And so it came to be, that Mr. A and Mr. Gee agreed to a minimalist throwdown. It went something like this… Gee starts: You are weak. You. A geek. Poor physique. Gee, you bleak. > A wins A starts: Gee, you suck. You’re more annoying than the Afrack...

The Water is Wet, the Sandpaper is Dry

I had to happen eventually. It happens to every writer. I am bone dry. No ideas. Not even one. A cat who can sing? Honestly? My dog could vomit up something more humorous. A writer, on the ropes, out of ideas. Oh yeah, that’s this idea. Lame. How about, a man...

Restaurant Restraint

Day 3 Oswald and I stood at the door to the ruins. We had searched for years, and I believe our quest has finally borne fruit! “Are you sure of this, sir?,” Oswald reacted, “It looks highly dangerous!” “Have I ever been one to...

Don’t Give Up, Pope!

So, what do ya think about time travel? Um, I’m not sure what you mean. Yanno! When ya go to the past o’ the fuchah to right da wrongs ya caused? Why would I need to do that? Say ya fehgot ya gross-a-rees! Well, time travel w’d fix it right up! I...

Ever Popular Cupcakes

Define sports? Sports. I mean, like. Sports. Athletic competition? Sure. Of course. But also, people who are good-natured about mild ribbing or a innocuous prank. I knew a guy who got tickets to the big game…   “It’s sports,” he explained....