“What would it take to get you into this exciting, new 2017 Weak Comic A Day?” oozed the slimy salesman as I entered his virtual showroom.

“Oh, I don’t know, just a bit of hilarity perhaps, or a bit of ground-breaking visual style…” I replied.

I could see the scheming gleam in his eye flicker, then begin to grow dim.

“Well, uh,” he stammered, “Fine Corinthian Leather!”

He know he had already lost the sale, but I was going in for the kill.

“Maybe a touch of clever word-play, or even some sense of what has become passe, and then avoiding it.” I continued.

“Ouch,” he protested, “Now you’re really going for the burn. We aren’t that bad.”

“Well,” I reasoned, “The term ‘Weak Comic’ is right there in your URL.”

He nodded, “Yes, but that is meant to un-ironically ironic.”

“You have a point,” I had to agree, “But it doesn’t save the day.”

He looked dour, then pointed an accusing finger. “Well, you aren’t really giving us a chance, are you?”

“I thought back, way back, back to that time the publisher of Weak Comic A Day mocked me for asking him if he was going to finish that cookie he was carrying. It was clear that he no intention of eating the baked delicacy, and that it’s fate was at the bottom of a trash receptacle, but my impoverished appearance triggered clear disdain, and I know that cookie was not to be mine.”

“Excuse me,” said the Salesman, “Did you just mean to say that out loud?”

Chagrined, I admitted I had not.

“OK, well, that was confusing, but it seems pretty clear you came here with an agenda, so I’ll just have to say ‘Good day, sir, and ask you leave.”

“Very well.”

I tipped my cap and made my way to the street.

“Best of luck, suckers,” I murmured to myself as I strode briskly onward, “you’ll need it with that lineup of poorly drawn saps as protagonists.”